Tina Fey Scar Detective

Andy Samberg, the Saturday Night Live jokester du jour, is just about ready to roll out his first movie ("Hot Rod") and in the process he's giving plenty of interviews.

UnderGroundOnline ran their piece of Samberg's public relations junket recently. It's the usual stuff, for the most part, but it does include one Tina Fey reference. That's enough to earn it a commentary here at "The Tina Fey Scar Detective".

When discussing the butterflies in his gut during the SNL audition process, Samberg mentioned that having Tina chuckle at his work provided some much-needed confidence.

"I could hear Tina Fey laughing and some other people were laughing. I thought, "Cool!" It gives you confidence. Then they said they wanted to see me again a few weeks later. I came in and again got a few laughs, but the whole time, it's like doing a crappy stand-up gig at some hole in the wall. It's like, "Okay, let's get through this. I know these bits, so let's get through them." I'm told that when I did "out-of-breath jogger," which was the last thing I did, that Lorne laughed at that. You'd have to ask him to confirm whether he did or didn't."

That's the only Fey-related bit of the piece, but it is worth a read if you want a little insight on Samberg. You can read the whole thing here.

Tina Fey checked in with good ol' David Letterman last week. The August 23 appearance wasn't necessarily destined for the television hall of fame, but it's always good to see my favorite scar-bearer on the boob tube.

Anyway, I noticed that someone got around to putting the video up on YouTube. I know that many of you are just after scar info, but this is just as much a fansite (ooh, I hate that word) as it is an exercise in detective work. Thus, I am putting it out here for all Tina buffs to see.

Here tales of potty training!
View the new Tina Fey haircut!
Marvel at Letterman's Longevity!


Here it is...

Admission: I love the word "parallel". I especially enjoy that double "L" before a single "L" thing.

Now, to the story. More specifically, to a Heather Wood story at the Huffington Post in which she advises studio and network heads on preferred means of vaulting a few of her favorite women comedians/actresses to superstar status.

Among her favorites is Amy Sedaris (who I also think is a real talent). Anyway, Wood makes an interesting comparison between Amy and Tina Fey. Here's the remark:

"Amy Sedaris is Tina Fey... on crystal meth. She's got the same pleasant good-looks, same wicked sense of humor, same Second City credentials, but when it comes to performing, Sedaris prefers to go as far as taste and the FCC will allow."

I never really thought about comparing the two, but she makes a good point. The full post is an entertaining diversion. Check it out.

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I'm sure that many of you are also NOT using VoIP technology--just like me.

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Nimbus VoIP phone systems give users maximum control with some serious efficiency and ease of use. Of course, you also get the hallmarks of the VoIP trade--unlimited US calling. Free Nimbus-Nimbus calls, etc.

If you've been letting the VoIP revolution pass you by, you might want to take another look at this exciting telephony trend.

A bass guitar discussion forum. A random entry about Saturday Night Live. A comment about Tina Fey. Things naturally move to the subject of Tina Fey's scars. Then... This:
"And of course the definitive page on Tina Fey's scar: http://www.bondcliff.net/content.mv?file=tinafey I think she's hotter than a forest fire in hell, so know this is in jest."

Immediately, I copy the link (it wasn't live) and head off to this "definitive" source of information. Nothing there. Nothing.

So, I'm wondering. Did Bondcliff.net know the secret of Tina Fey's scar. If so, why is the information now unavailable. What happened to it and the author. Is there something that happens to you (or maybe within you) when you finally find out what caused the scar?

We'll never know. Because it's gone.

I try to feel better. I tell myself that "this is in jest" part of the comment means that there was nothing too important there in the first place.

We'll never know. It's gone.

I found this remark in a series of comments on a blog post regarding "gaydar", which is a pretty damn random way to find grist for the "Tina Fey Scar Detective" mill, don't you think?

Anyway, it looks like the commenter in question may have stumbled upon an answer about Tina Fey's scar. No, don't get worked up. She doesn't know the cause of the scar. She does, however, have a very good explanation of why it is so seductive and interesting.

Here's the comment:

"Thailand girl- I don't think that's the case here. The point is more it's not whether he's gay or not. It's like Tina Fey's scar-she won't say what it's from which makes everyone WAYYYY more curious than if she did. But ultimately it's up to her (and HIM) to disclose info or not about themselves. I guess my point is- WHY are we (me and my office mates) SOOOO curious about this?"
Tina Fey's scar is interesting because we don't have an answer. That's believable.

But what does that mean about The Detective? If I find the answer, am I merely puncturing an entertaining balloon. Is it possible for one's fulfillment to decrease as they approach enlightenment? You get the idea.

The comments were originally written here. Although I didn't read the source blog in tremendous details, I'm sure it's AOK.

If you're reading this post, I'm willing to wager that you're a television fan. Most fans of tv shows tend to be film buffs, too, so I'd bet you fall into that category, as well.

So, even though this news isn't Tina Fey-centric, I think it has a high degree of applicability. I've discovered a groovy website where the film and television criticism runs deep, smart and fast. It's called Critics Rant and it's a "must" addition to your favorites list.

The idea behind Critics Rant is simple enough--let people climb up on a virtual soapbox to discuss (and yes, critique) new movies (they have great movie reviews there), DVD releases and television programming. They're creating a vibrant community of people sharing opinions and ideas.

If you dig TV and film, you should check out the site and its forums. They have a newsletter, they give away free DVDs to site members, and more. Heck, they even cover video games.

30 Rock is the critics' darling and the show appears ready to move full-steam ahead into its second season.
Not every post can be scar news. Sometimes, I need to mix things up with a little bit of plain ol' Tina Fey news. Here we go...

How does Tina Fey, the mastermind behind the program, hope to avoid a sophomore slump? The easy way out would be to keep things on a dead-even keel, but that's not the strategy. Instead, Fey plans to make a few changes in hopes of keeping the show's core audience while simultaneously expanding its appeal to those who haven't yet come down with a case of 30 Rock Fever.

Remote access (full story here) reports:

"She doesn’t want 30 Rock to be the next Arrested Development (even if in some ways it already is). That is to say, critical acclaim, which she’s got, will mean little if the show gets canceled, which it nearly was at various times last season. So Fey’s cutting down her scripts this season, letting the show breathe a little and continuing to grow as an actor. That recipe should make for an entertaining sophomore season."

Many of the Tina Fey scar theories involve events that may have happened in her young adult life. These rumors persist even though Fey has described the scarring as a "childhood" event.

Is it possible that Fey's remarks are less than accurate? Are the theories involving boyfriends in LA and adult stalkers possible? The photographic evidence indicates they are not.

Take a look at the high school photo of Tina Fey, which you can find at Stereogum. Although the image lacks high-definition and isn't necessarily Fey's most photogenic moment, a discerning viewer can make out the presence of the scar.

Thus, the scar must have originated at least a few months prior to the high school photo. Those who claim the scarring was an adult matter appear to be incorrect.

NBC isn't the world's biggest YouTube supporter, as you probably know. However, they did decide to use the net's most popular video site as a means of drumming up attention/interest in the upcoming second season of Tina Fey's "30 Rock".

NBC created a "Best of Tina Fey" video and made it publicly available via YouTube.



The following text accompanied the mini-flick:

"Check out the funniest clips of Tina Fey from SNL's Weekend Update...and don't miss Tina in her hilarious comedy "30 Rock" along with Alec Baldwin & Tracy Morgan every Thursday night at 8:30/7:30c only on NBC."

If you are reading this right now instead of watching the video, you should rethink your actions.

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Oh, and you should probably prepare you belly, too. No, not for Montezuma's revenge. That's another passe stereotype. The Karisma resorts in Mexico are operated with discriminating palates in mind. Their All Inclusive Mexico Vacations include dining experiences that would satisfy any gourmet (or gourmand, for that matter). Karisma prides itself on offering a selection of meals and treats made with the tastes of knowledgeable foodies in mind.

It's time to change your perspective on Mexican travel. Karisma proves that a trip south of the Rio Grande can be as well-appointed and luxurious as anything you'll find anywhere on the planet. Ole!

An old blog entry contains one line about the origins of Tina Fey's scar. The comment is actually parenthetical, too. It provides a potential 4-word answer to the riddle that's been haunting me for so long.

"in a car accident"

No corroboration. No real support for the claim found within the old post's text. Another dead end? Maybe. I'll keep digging, though.

Who knows, maybe it was a childhood car accident. Maybe the parents get "bummed" because one of them feels responsible for the accident.

I'm on the job. Someday, we'll know....

I recently commented on the fact that "The Tina Fey Scar Detective" was the #4 result at Google when one queries for "Tina Fey scar".

That information is no longer correct.

Snopes has dropped. The Associated Content bio slipped a notch, too. Now, at #2, "The Tina Fey Scar Detective".

Second. I'm celebrating my near-victory.

I'm probably trapped in the 2-spot forever, because a "Google Answers" deal on the whole issue holds the top slot. Google Answers undoubtedly has enough Google Mojo to stay on top for awhile.

In the meantime, I'm gathering steam. And visitors. That's making it more imperative that I dig up the True Story Behind Tina Fey's Scar.

The eyes of the world are upon me. I better get back to work. Pronto.

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I've spent countless seconds investigating the origins of Tina Fey's scar, to no avail. Sure we have leads (ranging from Stalker Boyfriend to Evil Razor Man to War of 1812), but none of them have really put us any closer to The Truth.

I've spent time digging through lesser-read and even lesser-known resources in hopes of finding an answer. It then occurred to me that I've neglected mainstream news sources. What if one of the Big Boys had spilled the scar beans long ago and the information was just sitting there for all to see. It could be that my more in-the-know resources were too cool for school and had overlooked the obvious.

Enter USA Today. Not literally, of course. That would be like some weird Ah-Ha video and I'm not recommending that. Figuratively. What does USA Today have to say about Tina Fey's riddle of a scar?
"They love her glasses, which imbue her with a smart-girl sexiness but in fact serve a practical purpose: they help her read the cue cards on "Update." And they gossip about the origins of the mysterious scar on the left side of her face. Fey won't say how she got it except to mention that it happened during her childhood."
That's right. No help. None. Nunca. Nil. Zero.

Back to the back streets and dark alleyways of the information world in search of information about how Tina Fey got her scar. Thanks for nothing, USA Today.

When you don't have scar news, you might as well report on Tina Fey's torso. Thus, here I am commenting on a DeadBrain ode to Tina Fey's breasts.

The author got a glimpse of her chest during a viewing of "Mean Girls" and developed an immediate, healthy appreciation for the orbs. As the photo accompanying this post so clearly illustrates, there IS something to like about them, huh?

I don't want to beat a dead horse (other objects warrant a beating following discussions of this sort), so I will spare you my own extended evaluation of Ms. Fey's sexiness. Instead, I'll just share a bit of the DeadBrain assessment:

Read all about it/them here.

"She's no longer just a super-talented, hard-working, ultra-respectable broad.
She's a certified hottie with dynamite cans.

World domination – here comes Tina, in all her knockering, nipply glory!"

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Gotta love it when a deal works out so well for everyone--both parties involved and the consumers of their goods and services!

The Kitner Boy, who claims to live in a "porn tree" and who frequents the Opie & Anthony discussion boards is responsible for Tina Fey's scar. Or so he claims.

The Tina Fey Scar Detective was mentioned by an Opie & Anthony fan on its boards and a discussion ensued. In addition to commentary about the way scars can make a woman sexier and some general remarks regarding Tina Fey's overall heat, The Kitner Boy piped up with a new explanation for the Tina Fey disfigurement.

She got lippy with him and he did the rest.

Here's the quote:

"Her scar? Let's just say she'll think twice before she gets lippy with me again. Mystery solved."

I have my doubts. Okay, I know it isn't true. But it is something new.

Read the whole O&A convo re: moi.

So, Joe Anon hops online, curious about the origins of Tina Fey's scar. He goes to Google, or uses the little Google box in his browser and begins to hunt and peck his query.

"Tina Fey scar"

Google Answers takes the #1 slot. Snopes is in the #2 slot. Some bio from the user-generated content people at Associated Content is #3.

Then me. That's right. The Tina Fey Scar Detective has the #4 overall spot.

Now, all I need is a good answer to the question. Don't worry, I'm working on it.

Oh, there is some bad news, however. The #5 result for the "Tina Fey scar" query this morning was The Worst Thing Ever Written.

My plan? To unravel the mystery of the scar completely while ascending to #1 for all search queries relating to Tina Fey's scar.

Will it happen? Hell if I know.