Tina Fey Scar Detective

I've spent countless seconds investigating the origins of Tina Fey's scar, to no avail. Sure we have leads (ranging from Stalker Boyfriend to Evil Razor Man to War of 1812), but none of them have really put us any closer to The Truth.

I've spent time digging through lesser-read and even lesser-known resources in hopes of finding an answer. It then occurred to me that I've neglected mainstream news sources. What if one of the Big Boys had spilled the scar beans long ago and the information was just sitting there for all to see. It could be that my more in-the-know resources were too cool for school and had overlooked the obvious.

Enter USA Today. Not literally, of course. That would be like some weird Ah-Ha video and I'm not recommending that. Figuratively. What does USA Today have to say about Tina Fey's riddle of a scar?
"They love her glasses, which imbue her with a smart-girl sexiness but in fact serve a practical purpose: they help her read the cue cards on "Update." And they gossip about the origins of the mysterious scar on the left side of her face. Fey won't say how she got it except to mention that it happened during her childhood."
That's right. No help. None. Nunca. Nil. Zero.

Back to the back streets and dark alleyways of the information world in search of information about how Tina Fey got her scar. Thanks for nothing, USA Today.